Monday, September 19, 2011

Growing Up

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Something significant happened this morning that left me feeling completely ambivalent. Every school morning, Nathan and I would spend the last several minutes before school either talking or playing until the whistle. I always hung out with Nathan, providing him that extra measure of comfort while he 'warmed up' to the day ahead.

This morning, we walked into the common area at school and Nathan, normally reserved and shy, spotted a friend. "Hey Christian!" Nathan walked up to Christian, said something and then they walked off together toward the playground - never looked back!

I was shocked then I remembered I was holding my camera so I quickly shot this picture of Nathan and Christian walking away together.

I've been purposefully seeking opportunities for Nathan to play with kids his age, hoping to decrease his dependence on me and help him socialize. This was exactly what I had been preparing Nathan for and suddenly it happened but I was completely conflicted in that moment.  I was proud of him, he had a friend that he reached out to but I was also sad because suddenly... he didn't need me, he was growing up.

I literally didn't know what to do with myself. So I sat down by the Kidergarten teacher and told her what happened. She laughed and said, "You don't whether to be happy or sad do you?" With three kids of her own she totally understood.  I suspect every mom comes to this pivotal point with her children and I'm no different.

The whistle blew and it was time to say the Pledge which was why I had my camera.  I made a video of the school saying the Pledge of Allegiance.  Again, Nathan always wanted me by his side during this time and suddenly he was standing with his class, on his own, saying the pledge, so grown up. *love*

Here's the video:



And that was it, a significant - bittersweet moment, just like that.

2 comments:

  1. The first of many times you'll be left with empty arms. Bittersweet, indeed. However, I have found that, at the end of the day, he will be in your arms again. You have given him a rock, a firm foundation, a place of refuge. That is your job! Remember, the saddest thing is NOT when they leave, but when they NEVER can leave.

    Love you. Praying for you!

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  2. You are right... totally bittersweet...

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