"There's a women's conference in October, would you pray about being a part of it?"
When God puts an opportunity or challenge in front of me, I am like a deer staring into bright headlights. I freeze and wait because I'm quietly afraid of what is going to happen next.
I am not a Joshua charging for battle.
I am a Gideon, hiding and threshing wheat, in a winepress.
God, I'm from a weak family and I'm to weak a person to do this task. Can you confirm that you really want me, show me a sign maybe?
Phone rings. "We thought you would be a good fit to facilitate the panel at Unify Phx but we'd like you to actually be a part of the panel."
God, I'm not a public speaker. I shake, I get nervous, I get emotional. Then I'm embarrassed. I wish I could erase those embarrassing moments. Are you sure God?
Phone rings. Hello daughter, it's your Dad. Unbeknownst to either of us, we are gonna to have a conversation where I am going to reverse the message of shame I planted in you so many years ago. I'm going to tell you that your soft heart is a good thing and don't ever change it. You'll hang up the phone sobbing and then marvel that this call occurred exactly THREE days before you sit on stage at the conference.
God, I barely know any of the people running this conference, who am I to stand among them?
Email received. Can you come to a meeting for the lead team? You'll meet everyone running this conference. You'll find you are among women who are like-minded and as sensitive as you. You won't feel like a stranger in a strange land.
Okay God. Messages received. Help me to do what I'm afraid of doing.
On Saturday at Unify Phx, Christina Lang said "When God knows you are ready, he entrusts you with the next part of the story."
I didn't feel ready but everything that happened Friday at the conference prepared me not to just sit as part of the panel but to also stand in Unity as One.
From Fear to Faith,
Julia