Monday, August 5, 2013

My Personal Testimony of Jesus Christ.

I've been studying the life & ministry of the Apostle Paul. A person, like me. He made mistakes, just like me. He was bold and had courage. Not like me. Not at all. 

This morning, I was blindsided by the simplicity of what Paul did. He told people his Damascus Road experience. That was it. He just told his story. Over & over. Some wanted to hear his story & believed him. Others didn't. He was whipped 5 times, beaten with rods 3 times, stoned with rocks and left for dead.  At the end of the day though, Paul's story was his story. It didn't change.

This is my personal testimony of Jesus Christ.

My hands are shaking. Tears are in my eyes. Where is my courage?  I'm challenged by Paul's example but I'm such a coward. Behind this keyboard is the only courage I can muster.

This is my personal testimony of Jesus Christ.

As a child, my parents were not a consistent presence in my life. They were just not capable of taking care of me at times and for that reason I was left to live with other people. My childhood was so unstable that by the time I turned 18, I had lived in 13 different homes. Not one of those environments was a healthy functioning household and I experienced nearly every type of abuse that exists.

As a child, I believed in God, in Jesus. On the night of my 12th birthday, I prayed with a child-like faith a very sincere prayer. “Please let me die tonight, God. I don't want to live anymore. Please don't let me wake up tomorrow.”

I was so disappointed in God's unanswered prayer, I vowed I would no longer follow a God that would not help me. So for the next 10 years, I became my own primary abuser in every way.

When I was 23, the road I had been running on came to a dead-end.
It was at that time, I experienced God's love. God's forgiveness. God's mercy.
God's love for me simply could not answer the earnest prayer of my 12 yr old self.
God's forgiveness covered the multitude of sins from the former 10 years of my life.
God's mercy was new every morning, as I fumbled through following him for the next 18 years.

I have embraced that Jesus Christ died to set me free.
I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that the power of Jesus Christ has moved in my life in ways I never could have imagined.
I know, that I know, my mind has been renewed and I really am a new creation only because of the power of Jesus Christ in my life.

I have loved Jesus for some time now and I've learned so much from this relationship. I often, Often! stumble but I'm never condemned for it. Instead, my savior encourages me to stand up, try again. He gently reminds me, I'm not alone, he is with me. He is for me. Always and forever.  
And I find a tiny bit of courage to do as he prompts me - today its behind a keyboard.

That is my personal testimony of Jesus Christ.

Myra Jane Julia Dianne Davidson Hull